It has been a time. A time of complete rushing and hustling and DOING. And I am tired. After another whirlwind of a day yesterday, I drove home later than I had hoped and went to get a Christmas tree with my little two- let’s be honest- 14 and 17 are not so little but to me they always will be. I set my exhaustion aside to be present with my children and we made some memories and had a lot of laughs because to be very real, I am what you see. I’m not afraid to be a complete mess out loud because it is just who I am. We pull up to have the guy help us load the tree and I ask him to teach Graham how to tie the knot so that it is secure- which he graciously does with a sweet smile AND one of my sports bras rolls out of the car causing Graham to chuckle and toss it back in. My son knows me. That’s just ONE of our moments that we will forever laugh at- I mean, I think that it is perfectly normal to have something like that happened.
After an evening of getting started with the Christmas decor, I fell into bed for a fitful sleep knowing that I needed to be at the venue for a wedding by 8am. As I drove here this morning with my coffee, I have to admit, I was feeling a little sorry for myself. Not having had a day off in months and knowing that this day would be long with tours tomorrow, tours Monday, a wedding Tuesday, Thanksgiving Thursday, an engagement party Friday….well….you get the gist. As I pulled into our property there was a U-haul full of beautiful white flowers and cars of vendors pulling in- makeup and hair artists, florists, photographers…and I thought. Wait a minute. I get to DO this. I get to be HERE. I am so lucky and blessed.
And I set my feeling sorry for myself to the wind to blow away.
But let’s be real here…life is NOT easy and we ALL have things that bring us to exhaustion and the “why am I doing this” and the “can I keep this up” and “am I good enough” and the endless questioning of our humanity and choices and ability to DO. It is essential to care for ourselves and for me- that is in this moment with writing and expressing and smooching my beautiful bride on the cheek as I went in to greet her while she was getting her makeup and hair done. She is a total sweetheart and I am cherishing this day. Heading into the holiday season, I have an abundance of things to be thankful for. And this moment is one of them.
After greeting my bride, I walked down to the water with my coffee and saw these yellow wildflowers- yellow flowers will forever cause me to pause and to send a wish and prayer to our sweet angel girl Ryan Hurley who should be here, but is not. I had the joy of knowing her from the day she was born, seeing her grow, and then being her art teacher every day throughout middle school. She passed away after a long battle with Cancer in February of 2023 and I honestly don’t have appropriate words to say in regards to losing her. I snapped this photo with some tears, sent it to her mom and walked out to the dock. This view does not get old. The clumps of yellow flowers in the lake is something I have not seen; for me, it is a reminder that Ryan is here and that there is no time for feeling sorry for yourself.
(Yes, I am drinking out of my Christmas Mug that a student gave me years ago.)
And yes, I saw all of the bird poop on the dock- I am going to take a few hours to clean that up.
Yes.
I am thankful. Lavender on the Lake is full of vendors right now; this place that we thought would just be a beautiful place for weddings is now serving MANY people by providing opportunities for jobs, which in means they are providing for their families AND this space hosts families and friends and is filled with LOVE.
Life is precious. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed…it’s also essential to care for ourselves and to stop to be thankful.
Happy Thanksgiving week to our LOTL families. I love LOVE.
XO
Shelley
