Lavender on the Lake Couples are opting for First Look, First Touch and Private vows along with that moment at the alter.
When it comes to planning your wedding, there are so many decisions to make. The obvious ones are the venue, dress, and guest lists. Another big one deciding on if you want to wait to see each other for the first time at the aisle or whether to have a first look, first touch, or private wedding vows before the ceremony.
I always love the tradition idea of seeing the bride and groom at the aisle as they see each other for the first time. I asked Jason what he prefers as a photographer and he said that he really likes when they do a first look, touch or private vows because it settles the nerves and reminds the couple what this day is truly about.
So how do you decide?
I want to break down each option so that you can make the right decision for you.
1. First Look: Seeing Each Other Before the Ceremony
A first look is when the couple sees each other privately before the ceremony. It is usually heartfelt and beautifully photographed.
Pros:
- Settles the nerves: Seeing your person can be very reassuring and calming. A wedding day brings a lot of energy and personalities into play and so a moment with your partner can ease some of the stress.
- Private moment: You get to share a sweet and genuine reaction without everyone watching you.
- Easier flow of timeline: This allow you to do some photos before the ceremony which in turn gives you more time to enjoy the reception.
- More daylight: Winter months bring shorter days, therefore if you are doing a first look you will be sure to have natural light for your photos.
(Ok, so there is a disclaimer here. I literally finished writing this blog and am going back in to put the pictures in and I am realizing that if you are doing a first look, you can also read you vows at the SAME TIME like this special couple did. Oh well…I’m not rewriting this. I just LOVE love. And I love weddings. And I love when our couples make their weddings unique to them. The rest doesn’t really matter. )
If you want to learn more about us and our story you can click here.
Ok. I am back to adding photos elsewhere. I hope I don’t have to completely rewrite this blog. Goodness).
Cons:
- It is non-traditional: It is a wedding tradition for couples to see each other during the ceremony. Some even believe that it is bad luck to see your partner prior to the ceremony!
- May feel less “sacred”: Maybe you have always imagined seeing your partner at the altar for the first time. Therefore, having a first look may feel like a spoiler.
- Reactions can feel “staged”: Sometimes it can feel a bit orchestrated for the camera rather than that authentic sighting at the alter.
I love how this groom surprised his bride with their dog. She hadn’t know that their furry baby was going to be a part of the wedding day.
Having a First Look is best for Couples who want a calm, practical start to the day with more time together.
2. First Touch: Connecting Without Seeing Each Other
A first touch is a sweet alternative to the first look. During a first touch, the couple holds hands or exchanges words around a corner or door. This keeps the “no peeking” tradition while still being able to connecting. This can settle the nerves and feel reassuring while also building up the anticipation for that first time seeing each other.
Pros:
- Keeps and builds the surprise: This allows you to get that reveal at the ceremony while still having meaningful moment beforehand.
- Settles the nerves: Again, being in close proximity can help to calm the nerves. Holding hands or hearing each other’s voice can just be grounding.
- Intimate: This is a great special option that can be captured beautiful fully in photos and video.
Cons:
- Photo spots may be tricky to find: Depending on your venue, it may be hard to arrange this. Here at Lavender on the Lake we have some really good places and because we are still growing, we are only making more. Here are some pictures of some spots where our LOTL couples have had their first look.
- Limited emotional expression: It may not feel as complete as a first look because you cannot see one another. (I have seen couples use this time to pray together and/or have someone pray over them which has been really lovely.)
- Won’t relieve time: You still need to fit in most of your photos post-ceremony because you are not seeing each other.
If you are a couple who wants to wait for that aisle moment, but you really need the connection pre-ceremony, this is a great choice for you.
3. Private Vows: Sharing Your Words in an Intimate Moment
I loved writing my vows for Jason. And I love how some couples write even more personal vows only to share them privately before the ceremony .
Pros:
- No stage fright: This removes the pressure if you are afraid of speaking in front of guests. If you’re nervous about speaking in front of guests.
- Deep connection: Sharing vows one-on-one allows for vulnerability and intimacy.
- More authentic emotions: It gives you space to cry, laugh, or hug without worrying about people watching you.
Cons:
- Guests miss the moment: If they’re expecting vows during the ceremony, they may feel left out. (But you can do some simple vows to fix that!)
- Hard to schedule: It may be hard to add time to do the private vows. (Here at LOTL we allow for 9am access for full day rental which allows for plenty of time to do all of your getting ready as well as time to have these intimate moments if you choose. )
- Less dramatic “ceremony moment”: Vows are an emotional centerpiece, therefore, it may be meaningful to save them for the ceremony.
This is a great choice for couples who want to pour their hearts out to one another in private rather than in front of everyone.
Which One Should You Choose?
This is completely up to you; this is your special day and it should be entirely what YOU want it to be. Therefore, I want to offer you a few questions to help guide you in making a decision:
- Do you want to keep more to the tradition or shy away from it?
- Are you comfortable being emotional in front of others?
- Are the photography a big priority for you and if so, what moments are most important to you to capture?
- Do you want more private moments with your partner, or more shared moments with your guests?
Whatever you choose to do is the perfect choice for YOU. It’s your wedding after all, so be sure to consider your options wedding options: First look, first touch, or private vows.
Thank you SO much for following along with me if you are someone who reads my blogs. If you are new here, thanks for taking a moment to read my ramblings! I sure do appreciate it! I fully support locally owned businesses because I believe that we provide a one of a kind experience for our families and community. In support of small businesses I list several locally owned venues across the country. You can also take a look at this Wedding Venue Map.
XO
Shelley
Sparks Museum and Events Center
Photography included in this blog